I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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