Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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