How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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