trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
