I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
