Rock
Scissors
Fuck
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
