Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
