my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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