I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm both gender and math confused
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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