Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
