sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He? As in you personified your dick?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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