East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
