i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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