Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
