you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
