You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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