I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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