i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
