just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
