How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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