Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
