I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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