Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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