found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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