I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
