so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
