Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
