Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
