Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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