So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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