id be glad to
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So much rum. So many feels.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
