My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
