Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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