Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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