this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Please don't give away my fajitas
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
