I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
