I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
