the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
