i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
