we have officially lost it.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
