i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
