...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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