I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
