omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
