Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
