I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
