evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
