wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
