And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Randomize
