turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
