I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
